I've struggled in the past few weeks with some very personal things. I won't share them here, but I will say that I was feeling very, very discouraged. As always, the Lord stepped in and righted my path without my realizing it until it was done.
Stake conference was this weekend. Honestly, it wasn't really high on my To Do list. It was right up there with doing the dishes, or finishing my physiology homework. Maybe clipping my toenails. Growing up, I don't remember stake conference being a high priority. My mom was always a really great example of a saint, but I viewed conferences as a breather weekend, where I didn't have to go to church if I didn't want to. I really just wanted to get out and enjoy some time with friends I hadn't seen in awhile. But the Spirit kept nagging at me to go, and I couldn't shake the feeling. And yes, I say "nagging" with love! Sometimes the Spirit has a way of prompting us to do things we really don't want/aren't ready to do. Sometimes I find myself saying "Come on, not right now. Just one more minute!" Usually I find that doing what I'm prompted always ends in something good, even if I go into it kicking and screaming. But I digress.
Ultimately, I found myself in the chapel at seven pm Saturday night, shoved between my friend, we'll call her D, and a portly if well meaning Family History Missionary. My cheeks were a hurtin' from those "padded" chairs, and my legs were like Jello from being squeezed in an unnatural position for two hours.I know, I know. People who are late to everything cannot complain when they don't get the best seats.What can I say? It's a flaw. I'm sure you can take a good guess at what came next. Yes, it was an incredible meeting. And I'm grateful I went. See? Remember that part about finding that doing what I'm prompted to do always ends in good?
The best part of stake conference was our Sunday session today. I was feeling refreshed after last night, but today was the cheesecake dessert! Ok, so I was mostly just excited to be able to sing in the Tabernacle on Temple Square again. Since my stake is in the Avenues, we hold our stake conference on Temple Square twice a year. So neat! And to be able to sing our praise through song in such a perfect and historic venue is a dream come true. But we were also blessed to hear from our area Seventy, Rodolfo Franco. What a great man! I love his speaking style. He speaks to us as people on his same level, and it never feels like a lecture.
The greatest blessing of all was being able to hear from a man who has, and always will have, a special place in my heart. I'll call him President J. I met President J a year ago, just before ward conference. He came to my home to visit with our then ward mission president R.C. (R.C. and his family also have a very special place in my heart, and always will). I now know that the stake presidency visits certain people for ward conference, to get to know everyone. But I didn't know this at the time. I wasn't sure of their purpose, but I was just thrilled that they were coming. Frankly, I was expecting the Bishop.
President J. asked about my family, my work, and how long I'd been in the area. As we got to know each other, I couldn't help but notice the pure love that emanated from this man. He didn't judge me as so many others had. I am not a typical LDS person, and I'm definitely not cookie cutter. For this I am grateful, but sometimes I get the side eye from people. I knew he knew my situation and all of my past, because of something that had happened previously. But he never batted an eye. He, along with R.C, exemplified the pure love of Christ as they met with me in my small apartment on a warm night. After that visit, President J and I became good friends. We met as often as our crazy schedules would allow. He would come to Singles Activities and get right in there with us. He shared stories with me as we cleaned eyeglasses to be sent to third world countries. And on one special visit, he gave to me the best gift anyone has ever given me. He gave me a book he had written about the Atonement, and how to apply it to our daily lives. I love this book, almost as much as my scriptures. It is so special to me, even more so now.
Before this afternoon, I hadn't seen President J for quite awhile. I saw him most often at stake activities, but he hasn't been around for awhile. I found out some time ago that President J is fighting a very hard fight with cancer, and it turns out that we almost lost him last week. However, through prayer and the power of the Priesthood, he was able to be with us today in the Tabernacle. Sporting his usual smile, and speaking from a chair, he shared with us his testimony of Christ. He spoke of the blessings of his life, and of his great wife, and of the power of the Lord. There wasn't a dry eye in the house! He has always been a powerful speaker, but the love in that room was tangible as we listened, every ear turned, every mouth silent. I bawled. My heart was so full, but also sorrowful at the thought of losing one of my five favorite men (the others including my Patriarch, my former Bishop, my dad, and my brother). I am so blessed to have someone so great in my life, and I thank the Lord that I know President J. Please keep him in your prayers, the Lord will know whom you are referring to.
This post is getting very long, so I'll leave you with the words to a hymn we sang as a choir today. I feel this song says exactly my testimony. I hope you enjoy it.
This Is The Christ
Words by James E. Faust
They heard his voice, a voice so mild.
It pierced them thru and made their
souls to quake.
They saw him come, a man in white,
The Savior who had suffered
for their sake.
They felt the wounds in hand and side,
And each could testify:
This is the Christ.
This is the Christ,
the holy Son of God.
Our Savior, Lord,
Redeemer of mankind.
This is the Christ,
the Healer of our souls
Who ransomed us
with love divine.
I read his words,
the words he prayed
While bearing sorrow
in Gethsemane.
I feel his love,the price he paid
How many drops of blood
were spilled for me?
With Saints of old,in joyful cry
I too can testify:
This is the Christ.
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